I think that to discuss this issue with credibility it is necessary to read, understand, and reference Matsyavatara Prabhu's seminal article "Family Matters". It is an intelligent, well thought out and presented consideration of the various factors involved in this issue, and it is a reference point within our contemporary philosophical tradition.

You can read it here: http://namahatta.org/nh2/index.php?q=en/node/215

Good article, advocating a lesser evil. A natural question therefore is - when is a devotee ready for diksa? Qualified jyotish should be able to help. It can also prevent incompatible marriages and determine which asram a devotee should assume. In ISKCON it's been underused in the name of 'transcendence' to the detriment of all, imho.

Dear Mishra, I think u have common sense and devotion! I have seen too many devotees leaving due to some small sex desire and some problem connected with it. I think one should not throw away the baby with the bathing water...

I think the most important thing in life, whether one is a so called devotee or not, is to be honest to oneself and to others.

I have seen the fanaticism spiritual life too often, including in myself. But fanaticism is not the solution. One has to find a healthy balance in life. People who were most fanatic fell downward with great speed whereas others could keep balance in dangerous situations.

It is good to know what is right and what is wrong, one has to be patient, read the shastra, follow the sadhana, and thereby gain spiritual strength and inside. I think to much talking on this subject, and looking down to some people or even yourself will not help much. Everyone has to find out for himself individually the way, since we are all individuals, and not a flock of beings...

Bhagavad-gītā As It Is 2.59

viṣayā vinivartante
nirāhārasya dehinaḥ
rasa-varjaḿ raso 'py asya
paraḿ dṛṣṭvā nivartate

SYNONYMS

viṣayāḥ — objects for sense enjoyment; vinivartante — are practiced to be refrained from; nirāhārasya — by negative restrictions; dehinaḥ — for the embodied; rasa-varjam — giving up the taste; rasaḥ — sense of enjoyment; api — although there is; asya — his; param — far superior things; dṛṣṭvā — by experiencing; nivartate — he ceases from.

TRANSLATION

The embodied soul may be restricted from sense enjoyment, though the taste for sense objects remains. But, ceasing such engagements by experiencing a higher taste, he is fixed in consciousness.

PURPORT

Unless one is transcendentally situated, it is not possible to cease from sense enjoyment. The process of restriction from sense enjoyment by rules and regulations is something like restricting a diseased person from certain types of eatables. The patient, however, neither likes such restrictions nor loses his taste for eatables. Similarly, sense restriction by some spiritual process like aṣṭāńga-yoga, in the matter of yama, niyama, āsana, prāṇāyāma, pratyāhāra, dhāraṇā, dhyāna, etc., is recommended for less intelligent persons who have no better knowledge. But one who has tasted the beauty of the Supreme Lord Kṛṣṇa, in the course of his advancement in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, no longer has a taste for dead, material things. Therefore, restrictions are there for the less intelligent neophytes in the spiritual advancement of life, but such restrictions are only good until one actually has a taste for Kṛṣṇa consciousness. When one is actually Kṛṣṇa conscious, he automatically loses his taste for pale things.

related question:
http://www.pariprashnena.com/discussion/295/why-do-devotees-vow-the-nearly-impossible-vow-of-nosex-life-at-initiations

Gaurangaliladas:

The question is "Why queue up for initiation,where one have to promise such vow.....when deep inside, one is certain he/she will not be able to keep it? the worst is to pretend,under the clothes of devotees,that one is in a saintly mood, when in bed he's doing all nonsense!

Does that mean we never take initiation? How can you be certain of a falldown or not?...It seems to me it comes down to this simple fact...Get the higher taste from quality sadhana, or suffer with the lower taste and be frustrated with material desires.

Jayeradhe!:

I believe such vow is only for a very small minority, and so there shouldn't be thousands of disciples lining up for promise, though they can honestly try to practice progressive restraint of sexual activities.

Very small majority? I don't think Srila Prabhupada intended initiation for a very small majority.

I believe the main issue is how to deal with the issue of sex desire - to avoid the lower taste by getting a higher taste (from quality sadhana) and then the attraction for illicit sex life will vanish...IMHO the answer is not to reduce initiations but to educate and enthuse devotees to practise good quality sadhana.

Rasaprema dasa:

The way to conquer mundane sex life is constant meditation on the pastimes of Radha and Krsna in the mood of Sri Caitanya. If one just restrains the senses, without immersion in the pastimes, then that will not be successful.

For a neophyte devotee to engage himself into the highest spiritual practice is speculation:first he has to follow strict sadhana for a number of years under a bonafide spiritual master,and do service for him.Of course,it is auspicious to hear Krsna's pastimes,but sadhana mus be present,ortherwise it's sahaja mentality or pretending to be an elevated vaisnava,before time!

I just try to understand the difference between the body's push and pulling on the gross/physical level and the existential/mayaic longings that Arjuna wishes to describe like “as if by force”. Usually then the issue is wrapped up neatly by practice of Bhakti…. gradually……or not so much gradually!! If one is following sincerely I see that nasty little impulse is quite well sublimated under the awesome power of the Holy name Jaya!!!
After all we can see this rape instinct present in the animal life and then in the human state its capacity to be sublimated achieving metamorphic states in the sphere of art science and whatever nonsense.
So conquer this at least by 50% ID’ing the problem otherwise nothing is going to work because everthing is based on the sincerity of the participant and even if you don’t want to Chant Hare Krsna anyway 
And if you and I are not on the same level then what don’t you understand????? Hare Krsna

"One day, if we just continue the devotional process, we will just find ourself wondering why we ever had sex desire of the body. It will feel very distant and almost alien. The sex desire of the body is an illusion, after all."

This illusion is of the greatest kind....and is the main reason of living for most people!
We must not deny its pleasurable quality,but should enquire why such pleasure exists,and what are the other options for getting pleasure: it's because the soul is sat cid ananda,meaning he is an eternal,full of knowledge and bliss,just like the Lord,but in a minute form,while the Lord is all soul or all spiritual;we are covered with a gross material body,and led by a faulty mind,who is searching happiness through the senses,mainly the sex organs.
The male person has the possiblility of accumulating billions of such souls in his genitals,whereas the female does not have such power.They can receive such pleasure only by the mercy of the male,who injects such pleasure and souls in their body.Unfortunately,the result is another individual,most of the time unwanted,at it means a years of slavery to such product of lusty desire:work-work -work!
The tantric method of sharing such pleasure is a spiritual technique,that some yogis are able to acheive,through control of sexual discharge with his female partner,but is not advised nowadays as it is very difficult.There are bogus gurus of such technique,only interested in sexual pleasure.The symbol of Shiva lingam represents such technique of male -female relationship,and Shivaism used to be a world religion.

As everthing that emanates from the Lord is complete[isopainsad 1/1],we are also complete,and even the Lord resides in our body together with all the Demigods,all elements,and it's possible to have self-realisation by meditating on the Supersoul within.
The Lord is not a far distant personaltity:He resides in all of us!One can be in Vaikuntha,once he has realised this,and his departure from this world is just to get rid of gross material body,no more necassary:such bodies of pure devotees are worshippable!

Prisni dasi:

...If you did not have the bodily gross sex desire, like maybe when you were a kid, and got the sex act described to you in detail, would you feel attracted to do it? ...

...Then, can someone please come with a rational explanation for sex, except for propagation of the human species?...

Dear Prisni dasi,


As far as I can remember, I have always had these bodily gross sex desires up till the time I came in contact with Krsna consciousness, even as a boy of 3 years old. I remember these desires regularly appearing in the mind together with desires of forcefully ruling over others. There was no need to make any description of how it worked or how it all looked like even though I never saw it physically nor did anybody describe it to me. It was all very clear from in the beginning. I just didn’t know how it would feel when the senses would have been brought in contact with the sense objects and therefore, there was a strong desire to accomplish this, from the very beginning. I don’t know whether this is so for everyone else also but that’s how I can remember it, as far as I can go back.



A rational explanation for sex?



If we go a little deeper in the subtle form of sex desire, it appears to me (observed from the male's point of view) that we can see it as a form of desiring to merge. On the pure, personal spiritual level there is the soul’s desire to re-establish one’s relationship with Krsna and become his servant. On the impersonal spiritual level it appears as a desire to merge with Brahman and become peaceful. On the intellectual level, one desires to merge with the objects of knowledge and master them, on the mental level it manifests as a desire to merge with the mental body of others and rule them over or manipulate them, on the gross bodily level it manifests as a desire to merge with the object of the senses and exploit them.


Since there is no compatibility between spirit and matter, the latter three are not possible and therefore they all result in disappointment.