when/how to punish and when/how to forgive?

shina

Sometimes devotees may make mistakes just because they didn't know the right thing to do, but some others make offences even knowing the philosophy.

How to help this devotees to make proper spiritual advancement?

abhiram

I think it depends on your position/relationship with them.

VEDA

If you're their peer, tell them offenses won't help, rather the opposite, and pray for their change of mind.
If they won't change, then 'asat sanga tyaga'. Such sanga is very degrading.

Illicit Blue

While witnessing other's offences, I think we should always keep in mind our own offences, often commited due to weakness of the heart. Keeping this in mind we should overlook other's minor faults and pray for the Lord's mercy. In most cases, I don't see much benefit in preaching or chastisement.

I tend to maintain a respectful distance from regular offenders and remain silent in their presence as much as possible. At the same time, being aware that I'm an offender myself, I try to keep that part conceiled for others too, in order not to disturb them. In the mean while praying for improvement.

mishra

It is wise to avoid chastising or reprimanding anyone unless you have the direct position to do it, that is, your duty.
Otherwise, better to remain humble as Illicit Blue wrote.

Servant Krsna

Because Shina said in the first post:>but some others make offences even knowing the philosophy.<
Made me remember this:

Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur wrote in Shri Manah- Siksa Chapter 2:
Those who accept the disciplic succession of Shri Krishna Caitanya Mahaprabhu, but secretly do not follow the rules and regulations laid down by the disciplic succession can be called Kali's spies...

shina

But how to HELP them so they stop doing it?

amalagaura

What about publicly not following the rules & regulations? As long as one does not be a hypocrite and pretend to follow more than he is we can make progress in our own ways.

Illicit Blue

'But how to HELP them so they stop doing it?'

How to help MYSELF so I stop doing it?
How to help US so WE stop doing it?

shina

you are not getting my point...

I will try again. If one devotee for example is doing really compromising things and we do want him or her to stay in the temple because we like him or her... is there anything I can do to help that person apart from praying? I wonder if telling the authority would end up being worse for that person... that's all.

this is not about fault finding... just about friendship :)

caballero_vaishnava

I had some experience as temple commander about this.

There was a boy that all the other devotees were complaining of. He was nice but temple life was making him somewhat nervous, not very steady in sadhana and some other things.

I spoke with him as in charge and I told him better to go and live as a devotee outside. He got very angry with me and told me it was not fair, etc

Some time later, I met him at the street and he told me:

"Thank you, you were right, I am now able to pursue my life as a devotee outside. I am with the Mormons now, it is easier. But I always tell them that I am with them because I can't be with the Hare Krishnas in a temple. They know it and I preach to them sometimes."

nitai

Maybe it is your false ego that is acting. You may be thinking that you want to help them by chastisement but actually it is all your ego.

Servant Krsna

But let's put it that you just really want to help that person to improve his/her live... What to do??

shina

nitai, I don't want to chastise anyone, just trying to know what is meant to do in a situation like this.
anyway, thank you for pointing it out.

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