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Philosophy: Vedic jokes: Let's have some fun!

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      CommentAuthorabhiram
    • CommentTimeMay 22nd 2008
     
    I just wanted to start this thread so that we can post some vedic or iskcon jokes.

    My contribution:
    Do you know the 5 kinds of material suffering? Birth, death, disease, old age and... New Age.

    :)
    Thankful People: premasru
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      CommentAuthorSwarup Das
    • CommentTimeMay 26th 2008
     
    Did you hear about the pujari with the "altar" ego?

    Did you know that Lord Brahma was born in a "navel" hospital?"

    An important verse from the Miscellania Purana that goes:

    Dhotinam Khadinam Sarire
    Japa Mala Tilaka tu Mandira
    Kum Kum ca Kurta Papadam
    Subji Gulabjaman Rasgula Mam
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      CommentAuthorsitapati
    • CommentTimeMay 26th 2008 edited
     
    1. El brahmacari Argentino Rupa das salía del templo cuando alguien echó un balde de agua desde el techo, encima de él. Luego, en la calle, un carro pasó por su lado y pisando un charco le echó otra vez agua. Finalmente, cuando regresó al templo a través de un parque, el sistema de riego se inició y lo mojó de nuevo completamente.

    El pasatiempo se llama: Mojan a Rupa.

    2. El brahmacari Rupa queria casarse con una brahmacarini del ashram, Kamala devi dasi. Despues de asociarse con ella se dío cuenta que ella tenía deseos por una casa grande, un carro Mercedes-Benz, quería muchos niños, y esperaba unos saris hasta de oro.

    Entonces Rupa decidió no casarse con ella. Cuando sus amigos le preguntaba: "Muchacho, que te pasa - es tan bella! Porque no te casaste con ella?" Rupa les contestó: "Bueno, 'taba cara kamala"
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      CommentAuthorVEDA
    • CommentTimeMay 26th 2008
     
    I've heard many Christian jokes changed into ISKCON ones. But this one is original and classic:

    One devotee asks another: "How many devotees does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
    "Sorry, that's not my service, Prabhu."
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      CommentAuthormishra
    • CommentTimeMay 26th 2008 edited
     
    a sadhu was meditating in the jungle when a hungry tiger approached him.
    the scared baba prayed to the Lord, "please, make this beast a devotee"
    next moment, you could hear the tiger say "sarira avidya jal..."
    Thankful People: Hari Bhakta dasa
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      CommentAuthorabhiram
    • CommentTimeMay 29th 2008
     
    lol mishra!!!

    Veda you need a section on your site with jokes!
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      CommentAuthorabhiram
    • CommentTimeMay 29th 2008
     
    a christian joke btw:

    A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says,
    "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"
    The mother says, "It's my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."
    The doctor gives Debbie a good examination, then turns to the mother and says,
    "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Debbie is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess."
    The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Debbie?"
    Debbie says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
    The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says,
    "Is there something wrong out there doctor?"
    The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"
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      CommentAuthormishra
    • CommentTimeMay 29th 2008
     
    One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."

    An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."

    Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.

    Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I'll give you the $20."

    As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!"
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      CommentAuthorabhiram
    • CommentTimeMay 31st 2008
     
    clever boy...hehe
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      CommentAuthormishra
    • CommentTimeJun 7th 2008 edited
     
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      CommentAuthormishra
    • CommentTimeJun 7th 2008 edited
     
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      CommentAuthorSaryu
    • CommentTimeJun 7th 2008
     
    Krishna is complaining to Rukmini : "I am sick and tired of devotees constantly praying to give them more money!" Rukmini: "Indeed, what do they do with so much money?" Krishna: "No idea. I've never given them any..."
    • CommentAuthorpremasru
    • CommentTimeJun 8th 2008
     
    Could you tell me, how do I add a picture here?
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      CommentAuthormishra
    • CommentTimeJun 8th 2008 edited
     
    for pictures:
    http://www.bbcode.org/tags.php

    for video:
    http://www.bbcode.org/extratags.php

    then select BBCode below
    Thankful People: premasru
    • CommentAuthorpremasru
    • CommentTimeJun 12th 2008
     
    If you want to see something funny and enlightening, take a look at Kurma (the chef) prabhu's blog entry today, "Cards and Letters", that includes three cartoons.
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      CommentAuthormishra
    • CommentTimeJun 12th 2008 edited
     
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      CommentAuthormishra
    • CommentTimeJun 12th 2008
     
    I have attached the code used for the images in a text file in case you want to see how it goes :)
    • CommentAuthorpremasru
    • CommentTimeJun 12th 2008
     
    Sorry mishra, I'm still trying to find out how to get a picture from My Pictures folder on my computer, to here. Could you give me the steps please?
    El techno dumbo
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      CommentAuthormishra
    • CommentTimeJun 12th 2008
     
    the picture has to be on the internet to be linked. You can try free services to put your picks up like http://flickr.com or http://photobucket.com they are easy to manage.
    Then you link the url or internet address of your photo(s) here and voila.
    Thankful People: premasru
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      CommentAuthormishra
    • CommentTimeJul 1st 2008
     
    Pope and the Jewish Community of Rome Debate

    About a century or two ago, the Pope challenged the Jewish community of Rome to a debate. The Jews looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. So they finally picked an old man named Moishe, who spent his life sweeping up after people, to represent them. Being old and poor, he had less to lose, so he agreed. He asked only for one addition to the rules of debate. Not being used to saying very much, he asked that neither side be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.

    The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, “I give up. This man is too good. The Jews win.”

    An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said, “First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger, to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground, showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?”

    Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe, amazed that this old, almost feeble-minded man had done what all their scholars had insisted was impossible. “What happened?” they asked.” Well,” said Moishe, “First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here.” “And then?” asked a woman. “I don’t know,” said Moishe. “He took out his lunch and I took out mine.”

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